Style After Motherhood
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September 2024. How to Dress after Becoming a Mother.
I wrote this a while ago because I thought it was relatable. Yet another thing I didn’t see coming about motherhood. Might persuade you to buy a jumper or have a sort out. I seem to be getting lots of men’s jumper order so I’m sorry if this does not relate to all of you!
My life is completely different now. I didn’t know, when I was pregnant the first time, that I wouldn’t be re-entering the corporate world or office work. COVID hadn’t yet happened and I had assumed I would need those lovely Cos A line wool mini skirts I had collected during my London career years.
The only place I go now is the nursery/school drop off and Sainsbury’s. Otherwise I am at home or outside, in the wind, as we all know. But there are things that are quite universal in terms of what to wear after having children. I know this because I’ve been trawling the internet to see if it’s just me, it’s not.
1. Practicality:
When you have small children you are bending over all the time. Those lovely A line miniskirts I had won’t work. That’s not to say I can’t wear them again one day but they don’t work on a farm and they don’t work trying to peel a small tantrumming child off the carpark tarmac. The same goes for seriously lovely expensive dry-clean only garments – they don’t work because you’ll have porridge or snot on your shoulder before 9am.
2. Decision fatigue.
There is way too much going on in the mornings for me to think about what to wear, check the weather, try multiple outfits on, change my clothes again. I’ve got quite good at putting everyone’s clothes out the night before but for my clothes – I just need a sort of uniform. I know this is boring, but, it’s necessary. Call it a capsule wardrobe if you want. But I think getting rid of everything that gets in the way of deciding what to wear has really helped my morning routine. Which leads me on to…
3. The Wardrobe Cleanse.
I’ve been absolutely brutal about this over the summer. I spent time thinking about what colours suited me, which shapes suited me (I had a brief stint of following the trend for balloon legged trousers – I bought some lovely ones. But they don’t suit me and never will). I’ve wasted lots of money on this but they have gone. High waisted straight-leg trousers are the only thing that really suits my shape. All colours that make me look like a corpse, have gone. Having once owned a lot of black clothing, all of it, as well as the random print, yellows etc, have gone. Anything that makes me look frumpy has gone. I really want to look like one of those Toast models. Or artisty/bohemian makers, but I look like a sack of potatoes. Most if not all of my socks are the same colour and I have very very few accessories now. Three pairs of earrings, one bag.
4. Acccessorise.
This is what the internet and all the fashion bloggers say. Pare back your normal wardrobe to basics that knowsuit you and jazz it up with accessories. I actually disagree. I used to love a scarf. I had loads. They have all gone. Maybe I will regret this, but for this chapter of my life which is chaotic and noisy and overwhelming, where scarves get in the way when you’re carrying a baby in a sling, pile up in your bag or in your car or get used as towing ropes for toy tractors and baby walkers. I don’t want any accessories. I don’t want to have to think about it or make any more decisions. It doesn’t freeze that often in Cornwall so I don’t need it.
5. Sentimental items & loungewear
Get rid off nostalgic pieces, anything with stains you think you might sort out one day or holes you are thinking of repairing. Just repair them asap or get them out of your space. I feel the same about leggings and tracksuit bottoms. I aspire to having the sort of loungy items that are still vaguely acceptable, so that if someone were to turn up unannounced and I was in a pair of tracksuit bottoms, I wouldn’t look or feel too disastrous.
6. Sentimental items & loungewear
I’m still working on this. Post partum hair growth. Extremely windy place. It would help if I had a few go-to hairstyles that were easy to do and would stay put. I’ll let you know if I work this out 😂
In the draft of this newsletter I have written “acceptance and reinvention. Rebirth”. Profound. I must have found that on the internet. But I like it. I’m amazed at what my body has been through since having children. The physicality of looking after small children is immense - there’s lots of talk about pregnancy but not about the lifting and carrying and general slog that follows.
If I had more time I would link to some clothes and websites that I found when working out which colours suited me. I will have to do that another time because I’m sitting in Sainsbury’s car park with a small child on my lap who is beeping the horn.
Have a good week and buy a jumper why don’t you?